Tag Archives: work

The Remedy for a Sore Rump

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“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”

Theodore Roosevelt

 

Fired

A few years ago, my team and I took the Strengthsfinder’s assessment by Tom Rath.  In a nutshell, it is a personality assessment that helps identify your strengths.  There were no surprises when I took the test other than one.  It put my “strongest” strength as Responsibility.  At first I thought it was way off until I started thinking about all of my behaviors.  The truth is that I take responsibility for pretty much everything around me.  Even if I have nothing to do with it.

So with the responsibility of the world on my shoulders, I am writing this blog to B^*&ch about the demise of accountability in the workplace and life.

I recently had the misfortune of having to pull one of my consultants from a client.  The consultant was not succeeding and it was evident that the project would suffer if they continued.  I’d love to say that I have a perfect record of picking strong, senior level resources, but no one’s perfect. (This story is a combination of a few similar situations over the last 27 years).   Here’s the difference though, my client didn’t tell us to pull the consultant.  They didn’t see the problems that we did.    We told them we needed to act.  We explained the reasons we were failing and how we would fix it.  I was reminded of the most important lesson from what happened next.   The client’s reaction? Gratitude and surprise.   They shared that they might have seen some of this but they overlooked some issues.  I even received a call from a client executive thanking me for the way that we handled the situation.  The executive said that in all their years, no other consulting firm had proactively taken action and pulled their own resource.  They’ve always waited to be told to remove someone. Once again proving to me that accountability is one of our most important differentiators.

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And therein lies my issue.  When did accountability become such an extraordinary expectation?   Or maybe the expectation is being met but the expectations are too low. Everyone seems to use the term responsible in place of the term accountable. I believe that is an error that sets up a series of unfortunate consequences.  Why?  In my 25+ years of work experience, I have only met a handful of people that weren’t responsible.  (I’ve dealt with a few con artists unfortunately).  For the most part, people want to do the right thing and will put forth the effort to meet expectations. The number of people I have met who take accountability for their actions and their work has been far fewer but much more important to an organization’s success.

From frivolous lawsuits to finger pointing to blaming our woes on another group of individuals…why is it so difficult to take ownership for our own decisions?  If you screw up at work, don’t point the finger at someone else! I’m always amazed at the strength of an apology.  I learned a long time ago that problems don’t fester when someone apologizes.  I think it’s because no one expects an apology so they prepare for a fight and then are thrown off when they get an apology instead.  An apology often helps people move on so that I can focus on how to correct the problem rather than spend time discussing the past.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t make it a practice of accepting other people’s mistakes but it does come in handy when I want people to focus on fixing something rather than being stuck on figuring out who can be blamed.

Studies show that when we set higher expectations and give our children opportunity and support, they will rise to meet those expectations.  Shouldn’t CXOs be setting higher expectations for their employees?   Shouldn’t we all be setting higher expectations for ourselves?   Until that happens, I will be happy to uphold accountability as one of our company differentiators.

 

Laura

 

 

 

A fish out of water. Well, a sea urchin, actually. Well, ME, actually

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I just came back from a vacation with my daughter to Japan. It was her graduation present. She graduated 2 years ago but better late than never. It took me that long to stop nixing all of her choices. We finally agreed on Japan. Fast forward, even though I had set low expectations, I had a great adventure.

My favorite experience was when we walked into a restaurant in Kyoto thinking it was a different one. It was nondescript.  It was a tiny sushi restaurant with just a counter and 3 patrons. When we walked in, the kindly looking older sushi chef and his assistant had a look of fear on their face. We were about to turn around when the nice couple from Seattle sitting at the counter stopped us.  They explained that the chef’s fear was that they didn’t speak a word of English and it had taken them 20 minutes to decipher how their restaurant worked.  My daughter was all gung-ho to stay.  Not so much me.

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Full disclosure….I eat like a kid. Sushi has never been my thing.  I’ve gotten away with this as an adult so far.  Yet, I saw that I was about to be called out.  The couple said this restaurant came highly recommended by a friend. I was being triple dog dared.  My daughter talked me into staying (ok, belittled me into staying).  It didn’t end there.  My daughter enthusiastically shared my lack of adventure in eating with the Seattle couple so they decided to stay and watch me eat. (No pressure)

Long story short, I ate the chef’s choice (minus the sea urchin which no one on earth should have to eat that)… (if I offended any sea urchin lovers please forgive). It was an adventure and I am still standing. It wasn’t the best meal of my life but it was well done and beautifully prepared. So let me get to the other half of my story.

While I was freaking out about the sushi, it was obvious that the chef and his assistant were freaked out about us.  The restaurant didn’t have much signage and I’m guessing that their clientele are mostly locals. The chef was this kind older man. It was obvious that he took care and great pride in his preparation of the sushi.

This was not our first meal in Japan but we pulled out our dictionary at the end of the meal and told him in Japanese that “It was delicious”. OMG… The reaction we received was amazing. Now maybe they lit up because I said something funny but after many words between them, they came out from behind the counter and presented my daughter and I with a gift of two handkerchiefs.  The chef had a huge smile and kept bowing to us (a sign of respect).  He was genuinely thrilled by our compliment.  And here’s the thing….it didn’t take any effort. It was easy.  We gave him a genuine compliment given the love and care he put into preparing our meal.   3 words turned a concerned face into one of joy. So much that he followed us out of the restaurant and we continued to bow to each other.  A small moment made that meal one of the more special moments of our trip.

Gratitude changes everything

There are times I realize that I neglect to properly acknowledge the work that people around me do. I say thank you but don’t go beyond.

So this little lesson about a Japanese sushi chef, reminded me of the power of words. Most people are so busy that they forget to thank someone for putting in a little extra effort. It’s a simple lesson that we should all remember now and again. So reach out today to someone you work with or works for you and find something nice to say.  Make sure it’s genuine.  Look for those things that you always assume will get done since “that’s their thing.”   Those kind words will go a long way.

Laura

P.S. Thanks for reading this!

 

 

Having It All

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There are times that I feel old.  I know, I know…you are as young as you feel, yet there are times that my age is thrown in my face…like when peasant shirts and bell bottoms are back in style again.

And the whole discussion of Women’s rights.  I just finished reading one more story about Women’s Rights and the need to be Superwoman.  It is interesting to me since I have two daughters that are launched and at the beginning of their careers.  They have both started out recently, and I started to think about what they have to go through as they progress in their career.

arnoldwomanOrig

When I started out, the women’s liberation movement was in full swing and I proudly wore that trademark.  I was a bona fide women’s libber.  I admit it. Even when it was considered a bad thing to be a women’s libber.  I was not going to let any person tell me that I couldn’t do what I wanted.  I dressed like a man (even had those ties that women used to wear that “supposedly” looked cute); I had aspirations like my male counterparts, and I started my career in a male dominated industry (IT).  I ignored obstacles and kept pushing.  Later in my career, I made a life choice and decided to open my own consulting practice when I got pregnant the first time.  That was 25 years ago.

The other day I read article on the age old question, “Can women have it all?”  I have to say that I got a little melancholy when I read it.  The topic of women in the workforce doesn’t seem like it’s progressed much.  The young women of today are claiming that their issues aren’t the same as the previous generation, yet the article seemed like same topic….different spin.

There is still the ever present problem around gender pay equity. Women still get paid less than men for the same job.  Women have been fighting that fight for 40+ years.  Women are still trying to move up the corporate ladder and not get derailed when they choose to have children.    And the most painful topic is about women having it all.  I would hope that this topic would have been resolved by now.   I would love to see this generation figure it out once and for all.

Back when I decided to have children, I was forced to address it. I lived in a bedroom community where the majority of households consisted of stay-at-home Moms.  So when I got pregnant, I decided to leave my job at Microsoft to get off of the road.  When I had my first daughter, I started a consulting practice, and once my second daughter started school full-time, I took the opportunity to work on growing my business.

It was hard.  I felt guilty on a regular basis.  If I didn’t feel guilt on my own, my girls would innocently pile on the guilt when they wrapped their arms around me when I left.  I had a few friends that worked but we were not the majority.  Therefore, I didn’t have the working Mom network that I think is much more prevalent for the women in this generation.

Yet, I learned early on that I was not as “put together” when I wasn’t working.  I was a better Mom for my children working than I would have been as a stay at home Mom. Work was important to me and made me a happier person.   So I decided that I had to figure out what was most important to me and stick with the highest priority items.

I kept my office out of the home so I could still be around for my daughters as often as possible.  I made time and volunteered to be room parent every year for both kids as they grew up.  I took them out to children’s plays, playgrounds and museums every weekend.  And I avoided women networking events.  Back when I started, it seemed like all of the women networking events focused on how to figure out work/life balance.   I figured that with my limited time, I was better able to balance my life if I stayed at home with my kids in the evenings.

Fast forward today, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.  Both of my daughters are wonderful, smart, beautiful young women making their own way in the world and I couldn’t be prouder.  I believe I “had it all.”

So, after reading that article, I realized that this never-ending topic of women “having it all” is missing the point.  I believe I did have it all and I’m not superwoman.  The real question that we should be asking is….what is your definition of ALL? What does it mean to you personally?  Not every man ends up as CEO and neither will every woman.   I felt that I had it all because I defined “all” at the beginning.  I wanted to have children and be there for them but I also wanted to continue working.  Staying in a corporate role wasn’t right for me since I was a little more of a renegade.  By starting my own business, I was able to manage my own time.  Once the kids became school age, I focused on growing my business.  I still wanted to be a room parent so I made time.  By making time, my business didn’t grow quickly.  That was okay for me at the time.  It gave me a chance to better fine tune the company and myself as a leader as well as fine tune my skills as a parent.

Be aware that I made compromises (on both accounts).  My “all” did not include housecleaning, cooking and I never did learn how to sew from my Mom.  I had to prioritize and those things weren’t high on my list.  I had someone there to help with my children, which makes me more fortunate than many, but I also gave up other things so that someone could in fact be there for them.  I didn’t do “all” by the textbook definition.

Did I miss out?  Maybe… When my oldest daughter first came back home after going away to college, I was so excited, I told her that I would make her a home cooked meal….anything she wanted.  Her response was, “It’s not as if you cooked enough for me to have a favorite.”  I will not deny that her comment cut me hard.  In fact, I still find that I am pulling out the blade years later.  But in the grand scheme of things, that wasn’t part of my “all.”  My children didn’t starve, they both have a healthy work ethic and I know that they can do anything they set their mind on and they will always be able to take care of themselves.    To me…that’s having it all!

Let’s stop agonizing over theory and start being practical.   Men don’t have it all and neither will women.  You make compromises in your life and you live with them.  If it is important enough, find a way!  If it’s not that important, let it go!  I could never have stayed on my path in corporate America and had my all.  So I came up with a different plan.  Let’s change the conversation and start talking about having MY ALL.   Whether your ALL is to stay home and take care of children full time, or skip having children and have the career you want or trying to mix the two, define what it looks like to you.  Then stop beating yourself up over not having it all!  It’s ALL relative.

Laura