Tag Archives: life lessons

New Year, Better Me…Hopefully

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New Year Resolutions List on Notepad on Top of Wood Desk

I love learning what makes people tick and when I learn about others, it often leads to my own ah-ha moments that help me learn more about myself.  I’ve just started reading a book about how people are influenced: The Influential Mind by Tali Sharot.  It turns out that one of the key aspects of influencing others is to give the other person the ability to have a say.  We all like to have options and feel in control.  Sounds obvious but it isn’t what we regularly do in the business world.   It got me thinking about my own New Year’s resolutions…..

  1. Don’t take everything so seriously! While I try to find the humor in most situations, I am the tortured comedian…working out my issues with comedy.  Seriously…I am a stringent rule follower and a stringent rule follower is typically very serious.  My only difference is that when I am following the rules, I may in fact be making fun of them.  Still, I need to lighten up when things don’t go the way I want.
    fake mustache, nose and eyeglasses on a blue surface
  2. Let go. I find that it has taken me many years as a business owner to work through this. I like to hold on.  I have only recently learned to better delegate and let go but it hasn’t been an easy journey.  I have a great team that has patiently worked through this with me.  Yet as the book (see reference in first paragraph) shows, it isn’t the best way to influence my team.  The more I let go, the greater chance that the outcome will result in an organization that is better than ever before.
  3. Be an optimist! Not sure that will ever happen…ugh…ignore the last statement.    Deep down, I know that I’m an optimist but I also know that I protect myself through pessimism.  If something doesn’t turn out the way I had hoped, I won’t be disappointed if I already thought it wouldn’t work out.  That being said, I am a closet optimist because I always work every angle to make it work.  I need to drop the pessimistic language around my actions.  It sets up my team and everyone else to be able to dismiss the actions I’m attempting to create.  Pessimism is not the best tool for motivating!
  1. Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. I find that we have gotten to the point where we are too quick to judge other people’s actions or their beliefs. Walk in someone else’s shoes is an old saying and perhaps a forgotten saying.  Learn to listen more.  Learn to withhold judgement until you understand someone else’s position.  Talk more to people (face-to-face).  The written word (email) will never convey what a face-to-face conversation can.
  2. Go out and play more. Get off the computer and go have some experiences. I have always been a believer that experiences are worth more than things.    I may not remember all of the details but they cobble together to make a better me.  Meeting people, talking to them and experiencing different cultures other than my own helps me to gain a deeper understanding of who they are and why they are different.
  3. Work Life Balance. This is not a resolution as much as it is the fact that I’m an evangelist in this space.  I did a relatively good job of balancing work and life years ago when I had my first child.  My resolution is to get out more and share my story.  I believe that we put too much pressure on ourselves to “have it all” and I will share some stories that might help some people learn to prioritize. In 2018, I have resolved to become a better communicator. I want to listen more, share my story and Peritius’ story and blog more.  Anyone that knows me will tell you this will be a challenge.  Yet as a new found optimist or “wanna-be” optimist, I will work my butt off to make that happen.
    work life balance

In 2018, I will continue to get out and create experiences.  Learn more about people.  Call my friends more.  While an increase social media activity will be an additional part of my 2018 adoption for work, I will pull back on Facebook in my personal life even more.  I’m going to use that time to “go play outside.”

The Remedy for a Sore Rump

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“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”

Theodore Roosevelt

 

Fired

A few years ago, my team and I took the Strengthsfinder’s assessment by Tom Rath.  In a nutshell, it is a personality assessment that helps identify your strengths.  There were no surprises when I took the test other than one.  It put my “strongest” strength as Responsibility.  At first I thought it was way off until I started thinking about all of my behaviors.  The truth is that I take responsibility for pretty much everything around me.  Even if I have nothing to do with it.

So with the responsibility of the world on my shoulders, I am writing this blog to B^*&ch about the demise of accountability in the workplace and life.

I recently had the misfortune of having to pull one of my consultants from a client.  The consultant was not succeeding and it was evident that the project would suffer if they continued.  I’d love to say that I have a perfect record of picking strong, senior level resources, but no one’s perfect. (This story is a combination of a few similar situations over the last 27 years).   Here’s the difference though, my client didn’t tell us to pull the consultant.  They didn’t see the problems that we did.    We told them we needed to act.  We explained the reasons we were failing and how we would fix it.  I was reminded of the most important lesson from what happened next.   The client’s reaction? Gratitude and surprise.   They shared that they might have seen some of this but they overlooked some issues.  I even received a call from a client executive thanking me for the way that we handled the situation.  The executive said that in all their years, no other consulting firm had proactively taken action and pulled their own resource.  They’ve always waited to be told to remove someone. Once again proving to me that accountability is one of our most important differentiators.

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And therein lies my issue.  When did accountability become such an extraordinary expectation?   Or maybe the expectation is being met but the expectations are too low. Everyone seems to use the term responsible in place of the term accountable. I believe that is an error that sets up a series of unfortunate consequences.  Why?  In my 25+ years of work experience, I have only met a handful of people that weren’t responsible.  (I’ve dealt with a few con artists unfortunately).  For the most part, people want to do the right thing and will put forth the effort to meet expectations. The number of people I have met who take accountability for their actions and their work has been far fewer but much more important to an organization’s success.

From frivolous lawsuits to finger pointing to blaming our woes on another group of individuals…why is it so difficult to take ownership for our own decisions?  If you screw up at work, don’t point the finger at someone else! I’m always amazed at the strength of an apology.  I learned a long time ago that problems don’t fester when someone apologizes.  I think it’s because no one expects an apology so they prepare for a fight and then are thrown off when they get an apology instead.  An apology often helps people move on so that I can focus on how to correct the problem rather than spend time discussing the past.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t make it a practice of accepting other people’s mistakes but it does come in handy when I want people to focus on fixing something rather than being stuck on figuring out who can be blamed.

Studies show that when we set higher expectations and give our children opportunity and support, they will rise to meet those expectations.  Shouldn’t CXOs be setting higher expectations for their employees?   Shouldn’t we all be setting higher expectations for ourselves?   Until that happens, I will be happy to uphold accountability as one of our company differentiators.

 

Laura

 

 

 

Life Lessons from the Magic Kingdom

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I just got back from Disney World with my fiancé. He had never been to Disney in his life and didn’t take his children as they were growing up.  His excuse is that he took them to Space Camp.  I wasn’t buying it.  His punishment….a few days at Disney.  So we packed our bags and bought our Disney tickets (due to the latest increase, we used our retirement IRAs to pay).  Our mission: (which he had no choice but to accept) find anything with the Dopey character on it.  See, I love Dopey.  Though as I’m getting older, I’m starting to have a thing for Grumpy too…but I think that has more to do with my age and the loss of my remaining filters.  But I digress.

I know that most people think that I’m nuts (I prefer “special”) but fairy tales do in fact teach you about life. Being the project manager I am, my perspective is that it teaches you about maneuvering life in the business world.  For instance, fairy tales teach kids (and enlightened adults) about the benefits of diversity.  Diversity comes in all shapes and sizes.  Take the seven dwarves.  Each dwarf is a caricature of the team members you work with.

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Take Doc.  Doc was the (self-appointed) leader of the group.  Think project manager/department manager.  He/she doesn’t always have the right answers, often has to deal with some aberrant behavior but uses leadership skills to take control when the going gets tough.

Bashful.  This is your introvert.  This may be a tech resource that would rather be working on the computer than working with the people in the room.  They know what they are supposed to do but don’t like to be in the spotlight.  They don’t like when you ask questions or put them on the spot.  They prefer to be a wallflower.

Grumpy.  We often call them the Doubting Thomas on the team. Grumpy is the first one to grumble about a new project or a change in the organization but when tragedy hits, he/she is still waiting to charge in to help.  Yet, as a whole, the doubting Thomas is too often ignored.  Sort of like the boy who cried wolf.  But if you listen, you may realize that there is some truth to their complaints.  They are often the best risk managers in the organization.

Sneezy.  The sick day team member.  The one whose slack the team has to pick up because Sneezy is (either legitimately or not) out sick.

Sleepy. This one makes me personally nervous.  You know the one.  I look over during a meeting and find Sleepy asleep.  Not fully engaged, Sleepy has a hard time keeping up since THEY AREN’T CONSCIOUS!!

Happy. The team member everyone wishes for.  No matter what the task or the workload, they always have a smile on their face.  The Zen Masters of the team.

Dopey. Dopey tries hard and is always positive.  Dopey has the right attitude so may be the best team member to mentor.  When given Grumpy, who may be smart but have a lousy attitude or Dopey that may not be as smart but has a desire to learn, I’ll take Dopey every time.  Not sure that my fiancé likes that fact too much.

sevendwarves

As diverse as the dwarves were in their thinking and their personality, they worked together as a team. Each dwarf added something to the total household and they came together in the mines and in their rescue of their houseguest.  Face it.    Where would Snow White be without them?

So, I think I’m going to make an annual trek to Disney going forward. It is amazing the type of insight fairy tales can bring to real life.  (Plus, I am still looking for that perfect Dopey t-shirt.)

Laura